I think I'm sick again....
Since Tuesday night, I've been dead tired. Wednesday I was falling asleep in meetings at work (although, that may have nothing to do with being sick). And I've just been incredibly grumpy and pissed at everything.

Today, I managed to stay awake for 6 hours straight. But that was quickly followed by a 2 hour nap, dinner, then another hour of sleep. If I'm still like this on Wednesday, I'm going to try to get myself to a doctor, and probably sleep though the examination.

If I've been mean to you lately, I'm sorry.
Time for bed.... again.

Oh, and for those interested... no ghost sightings since Wednesday, and now that I'm back in my bed I don't expect to hear from them again.

So... I'm now sure that that house I live in is haunted.

I came back from Sioux City to find that I'd been completely moved out of my room.
Oh, I knew that Bruce and Kathy would be staying in my room this week. Bruce is my father's only friend, and takes precidence before anyone in the family.
I like Bruce, he's very... err... interesting. That's why I emptied out one of the closets for them before my trip (they were coming in the day after I left), I also cleared out the dresser. Putting everything safely in the spare closet.
Apparently one full closet wasn't enough for two people for a week, so all my things are scattered about 100 different places, and the extra closet is empty.

So, much like a little kid, I'm kicked out of my room, and I'm living in the den (my old bedroom before my sister got married). The closet is full of all my fathers crap... don't I get a place for my things, Dad?
The bed... *sigh* This is the single person bed I slept in for the first 15 years of my life. It was the bed my mother slept in until she got married. No one knows just how old it is. The matress was bought when my mother was about 16.
Imagine just how comfortable it is... especially since it bows greatly in the center.
I knew I was staying here for a week. Getting by rent free has little perks like that. I just never expected "my" room to be evacuated so quickly. So I'll have to end up moving again...

Monday night.
I'm sleeping in the tiny bed. My knees are bent because I don't fit. All my mind sees is darkness.
Darkness... darkness... darkness... sudden, violent motion "WAKE UP!"
My eyes snap open... darkness. The blinds in this room cause something as close to pitch blackness as you could imaging.
I try to see someone... anyone. The walls are covered with framed WW2 medals my uncle earned or stole from dead nazi's, which I make out as dozens of faces.
Minutes pass, and I finally get the nerve to turn on the light. As I reach for the switch I thought I saw someone near the window.
Brightness... squinting... just an empty room. Nothing to shake the bed. Nothing to tell me to wake up.

I've been sleeping almost nonstop since my little vacation. Home from work. Sleep. Eat dinner. Sleep. Get ready for bed. Sleep.
A few times I can't sleep, but for the most part I'm void of energy.

Wednesday night.
I was asleep before I hit the pillow. Hell, I was asleep before I left work.
At 12:30 I woke. Something was wrong... I could feel it.
I looked around the room, the same faces stared back at me from the other night. I wanted to go back to sleep, but couldn't.
A noise filled my ears, a quick ripping sound. At the same time, I felt a line of wetness form on my face.
From my temple, across my eyelid, to my nose. I fought to open my eyes again to see the same thing I'd always seen... nothing unusal.
I touched the wetness on my face. My fingers felt only flesh, but when I removed them, I knew it was wet.
Lights on, squinting at the mirror. A tired man looked back, his face was clean.
I fell back into bed, lights on, and didn't move until morning.

When I was younger, I never felt anything. Only voices, and an occasional image. Everyone that talked to me seemed friendly, if confused.
I'm not so sure anymore.

Sioux City, Finale

Well, I've been back for 16 hours now... It's good to be home. Sioux City is the kind of place that's nice to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.

It was fun... I can't speak for the others, but for me the point of these things is to hang out and yak the night away (at least until I fall asleep).
The only new people I got meet where Dandelion and Ledward Vicious. Both were well worth meeting. Although I have to admit I was a bit freaked out at first by Ledward stumbling out of the VW camper/van/bus and giving me a big hug. I wasn't even sure I was at the right house at the time! But those few moments of nearly wetting myself were well worth the trip.

The worst part about the whole thing was that as soon as I crossed the Mississippi River my sinuses started acting up. My head was in misery the whole time, so I fear I wasn't quite myself and everyone will think I'm so very nice (hehe).

So that's pretty much it. It was everything I expected, including gaining the ability to stay up well past my usual bedtime.
Hopefully next time we'll have many more people show, so if you're a clanner start marking your time off of work/school/whatnot.

I look forward to the next gathering... any volumteers for host?

Sioux City, pt2
Resting and relaxing in the deadlands of the US today.

Yesterday, a slew of us went bowling in, of all places, a meat processing plant. I was certain we wouldn't make it out alive, very scary. Then we had dinner at a mexican restaurant, in the same building... so very scary.
I dunno... turning a slaughterhouse into a mall with bumper cars and whatnot just seems so bizarre.

I have to say, that Iowa is actually a very pretty state. Once the corn actually gets bigger than little sprouts it probably won't have the nice, rolling, fantasy-esque landscapes.
The 3 gate airprot is.... tiny. Only two gates actually seem to be used. And only 3 airlines seem to come here. How freaky is that?

Everybody is very nice.... only three people I'd not met before. And although Jo Ma'ril promised me one quickie... he left without so much as a kiss. He owes me big time now.
Plus he slept in a 10 year old boys bed!! Lucky for him he tactfully avoided the 14 year old girls bed...

Ok, I need a nap, maybe I'll right more about this later... maybe not. Others will write better than I can so I might just leave it up to them.

Sioux City 2003

Well, here I am... Sioux City Iowa.
Clan Lord gathering... smaller than I'm used to. Let's see... who's here: Drenn (me), Lanna, Xantcha, Jo Ma'ril, Dandelion, Ledward Viscious, Luna, Perkusi, Kodo and Michael Aridfox.

It's been fun so far, a laugh a minute. The absolute best part, was watching Xantcha make pastries. Wow, can you even imagine? Someone as tempting as Xantcha actually baking?

It's about 1AM, 7 of us are clanning while the others are fast asleep... I'm sooooo very tired, and fallen in the Valley (for you non-clanners, that means I'm dead).
Mostly, we've just been sitting around and yaking away, and having a gay ole time. The booze hasn't been flowing as freely as I've seen at other gatherings... but maybe tomorrow things will be different.

Our rescue is about to arrive, so I'm done saying anything for now.

Well, the computer is up and running again... for now.
No time to write anything meaningful, so just let me say hi.

Hi.

So, I called in sick yesterday. It turned out that when I tried to stand up, I'd just fall right over again... dizziness can be fun, but not on stairs.

I stayed in bed until about 11, crawling to the phone when I needed to call my boss and laying on the floor to talk.
I watched a movie, and fell asleep during it for about an hour. When I woke up, my stomach felt yucky, my head was icky, and I could taste blood in my mouth...
These are all things I notice when I get over a migraine.

So now I ask myself if I had a migraine. There was no pain, no intense desire to vomit, no.. umm... horniness. I just felt incredibly dizzy.
If it really was a migraine, I sure hope all my future migraines are the same. Even if I am forced to take a day off of work without my computer to play around with... I was very bored all day.
Today my head hurts a bit, but it's no migraine, at least.

(My computer is dead, I'm writing this from elsewhere... so I'll try to be brief)

I make people mad, it's what I do.
About a week ago, I posted a message that got someone very mad at me (don't look for it, I've removed it).
Why did I do this? I felt I was being lied to, and I hate being lied to.


What's odd about this is that I'm sure the person lost any trust he'd put into me over this... but in the end, I got the truth, and that he can trust me with.
I do believe that I almost recieved a revelation while talking to him, he didn't really say anything, but there was a brief hint, and I didn't push the issue since we weren't talking about that... but if my current suspicion is true, then he was telling the truth all along. But not knowing the previous truth made the current truth look like a lie (does that make sense).

I appologized for what I said. Did he accept the appology? Doubtful, not that I blame him.
He did say that he would have told me the truth if I'd called him... honestly, I don't believe this. I think that only his anger would get him to tell me. Maybe I'm wrong, there's no way to prove it either way now. Oh well.

Do I think I went to far with what I wrote? No. Thiis page is my thoughts, opinions and feelings. And I've been proven time and time again that my opiniones are just plain wrong.
I'm I sorry for hurting someone's feelings, and losing their trust, possibly losing a friend? Well, yeah, duh. But our lives will go on, as friends or not. I'm hoping to stay friends... but I'll stay a bit distant until I deserve to be forgiven.


(PS: This keyboard I'm typing on sucks! Who ever considered putting a backspace bar where the spacebar should be???)

Here we go again...
My computer died again today... this is the 5th time in as many months.
The monitor seems to have shorted out. I can't take off to go get it fixed today, so it has to wait until tomorrow, and you just know they won't be able to fix it in the store.
I am strongly considering that my next computer will NOT be made by Apple