Start at the Beginning

I haven't posted anything for a bit because I have both nothing to say and too much to say. Considering I don't remember the beginning of the week, I will start at the beginning of what I do remember which is apparently Thursday afternoon.

Like many, many other people in AP Bio I procrastinated on the lab that was generously due on Friday. I use the adverb "generously" because we did this lab a few weeks ago, even before the Circulation Test (which I got an A- on... my first A on a Bio test this year... I just thought I would slip that in there to boost my confidence). Nevertheless, I planned to do the lab when I got home from school but that didn't work. I was distracted until about eight when Nathan came over to watch the Sharks game. Actually, he wanted to practice the extra credit Spanish dramatic (dramatic... yeah right) presentation that we were going to do on Friday. I pompously replied that it is easy to memorize lines and that we don't need to practice, but he continued to say his lines over and over while putting the game on mute (blah!). By the time we finished it was nine, and I continued to watch the rest of the game (as well as the end of the Giants game) after he left while trying to do math homework. Rotating conics may be easy, but it is extremely tedious and for a person like me it takes a really long time. After working on the homework for awhile I realized something. What the shit was I doing math homework for if I hadn't started a Bio lab that was due the next day? With that I put down my math stuff and started writing my Bio lab and finished by about two in the morning (much better than it could have been). I then read over my lines for Spanish again and made myself a notecard for the math quiz I would take B period. I understood how to do the problems that were going to be on the quiz, but I just sucked at doing them and I really didn't care.

In the morning it was the usual of my Dad repeating hundreds of times in a row for me to get up, and then me falling back to sleep until I look at the clock and see that it is 7:40 at which point I put on a sweatshirt, pants, and shoes, pick up my backpack, and stumble out of the house into the car. Needless to say, I messed up on the math quiz without caring about it. During and after the quiz I noticed my head was extremely hot and my hands were freezing as a result of increased blood flow to my head (because my brain was working hard) and the vasoconstriction of arteries leading to my fingers. I think I only noticed this because it relates to the Bio lab that I wrote that morning.

Anyway, at the end of the period Mr. Honig asked me why I was the only one who didn't pay for the Physics day trip to Great America and I told him that I wasn't going. He told me that I would have to write a paper about math (I have no idea what the topic is and I don't think he does either) to make up for the work that I'm not doing at Great America. I said that I was fine with that and he replied humorously that he doesn't want to have to grade a paper. Haha! He asked me again why I was not going and I said because it interferes with my Spanish AP test (WHICH IT DOES!) and he said I could go to Great America for just the first two hours and then get a ride home and be back in time to take the AP test. I then replied that I do not only dislike Great America, but also I would be paying $23 to be there for two hours of math which I see as a complete waste. Thus, I'm not going to Great America for Physics day this year.

I spent Intro Java managing my Fantasy Baseball teams (NERD!). I really should get a NEWER version CodeWarrior working on one of the computers at my house but I don't want to get into that right now because it frustrates me. I got my Homeostatis test back in Bio and I did worse than I thought I would do (I guess it was because of the false confidence from the previous test). Hopefully there will be a generous curve because several questions seemed to confuse most of Mr. Nik's students. Virtually the entire time in Webpage design I used to go over the lines for the preformance (I shouldn't even be calling it that... how about... I don't even know what it was). I had already memorized them so I just said them over and over again outloud for about fourty minutes, annoying the hell out of Brendan, the Freshmen who was sitting next to me. Muuwhahaha!

I have noticed a pattern in public speaking for me and it is a rather unfortunate one. Regardless of how much I practice or prepare, when speaking in front of a number of people I always fuck up what I'm trying to say. This pattern held true today as I stopped mid-sentence in the second line I spoke and completely blanked out. After about a ten second pause, Nathan got the idea that I had no idea what to say and started saying his next line. I told him to stop over and over again and then said "lo siento" (I'm sorry) a thousand times to the class. Peter was reading along as we presented and I could have said "l�nea" for him to start me on the next line but I didn't. I'm still not quite sure why, but I think I didn't say it because I spent SO much time going over my lines in my head, over and over and over and over and over again, that I wanted to get credit for doing so instead of having someone else say my line. This desire for credit was something that I now remember bothered me earlier in the week when NONE of my homework was collected or checked one day and that frustrated me because I put a lot of effort (okay, not a LOT, but some) into stuff that I thought was going to reflect upon my grade. I guess I don't like doing things unless there is a reward, which is a result (or maybe a cause?) of my laziness.

I tried to forget what had happened in Spanish during History, where I have been trying to participate more by answering questions or sharing thoughts without having to be called on by Mr. Cheung. It makes the class a lot more interesting if I think about the things that we are learning and respond to them as compared to just sitting there either staring blankly or resting my head on my desk.

I went home to watch the end of the Giants game, the home opener against the Padres. I started falling asleep when all of a sudden Bonds hit his fifth homerun of the season in four games (!!!) to win the game in extra innings. Pardon me for those who don't like sports or baseball, but the Giants have been astounding so early in the season outrunning their opponents 27-3!

Anyway, after the game was over I did fall asleep only to wake up four hours later. Scott was here and I either forgot that he was coming up here or I didn't know about it. He gave me a present which was a UCLA sweatshirt and a Wharton hat (which I'm wearing as I write this). Thank you Alia and Scott! Although I'm not much of a hat person perhaps I should become one because I will probably lose most of my hair in my 20s. Eep!

I put on some medicine for my face tonight which I haven't been using as often as before. Essentially it does help and it heals my face from being damaged by zits but it takes about six weeks and I have been using it on and off recently so it hasn't been as effective as it was when I used it for two weeks straight and thus I have gotten a lot of zits this week. Eww!

My original intention of this post was definitely not to take one through my day minute by minute but that is what it has turned out to be so far. It does, however, let one know what is going on in my life. Perhaps now I should look into what is to come in the week before Spring Break. I know I have a Spanish project and two reading logs for Hamlet due on Monday. On Wednesday I have to preform a scene from Hamlet with three other people and until a few hours ago I thought we had to memorize our lines (what kind of hell would that be?). I looked through all the information I had previously received about the preformances and I didn't see anything about memorizing lines, so I'll just assume we don't have to. We do, however, have to present it with meaning behind our words instead of just passively reading it. This is hard for me because I'm a terrible actor.

(insert transition here)

I have recently noticed that I am going senile. I have become very obsessive compulsive as well as schizophrenic. I talk to myself a lot, constantly in fact, and I don't realize it. Sometimes I talk to people who don't exist anywhere else but my imagination. I think all these things are stress induced, and perhaps I should see a psyciatrist about it. Then again, they would probably ask me questions that I don't know the answer to (or at least can't think of at the moment) and it wouldn't help. Maybe I just have a fear of being misdiagnosed. I just need to calm down and go back to my mellow persona. Maybe I should listen to music, but then again I almost never do that. But who knows? Less than two years ago I had no interest in baseball or hockey and now a very considerable portion of my life revolves around them (much less considerable than if I actually PLAYED them, but hey, I'm lazy).