nosuch.org

1. collar

Since Conny and I are switches, we sometimes use a collar to determine who is going to be the top and who is going to be the bottom.

We each have a few different collars which we can wear. Some lock, some don't. Some are leather, metal, rope or jewelry. One is even a bracelet, but it still serves as a "collar." Sometimes the collar goes on for a few hours, sometimes a few days. When we go out to SM clubs, I'm usually the one wearing a collar, because Conny isn't ready to bottom in public yet. Yet. I also don't write about her time on the bottom, because bottoming is very personal and intimate. So even though you read a lot about my time on the bottom, there's still a fair amount of switching going on.

We also don't always use a collar. That's for scenes we do when the top wants the bottom to struggle and "fight back." Those are fun too.

2. Conny

Conny is my wife. She's from Munich, Germany. We met because of my blog, and because she was running a German license of Clan Lord, and her group of GMs invited me to be a GM because of what I wrote here. We met in December of 2000, and it's been wonderful ever since. How I ever found a beautiful, intelligent, kinky computer-gamer who will put up with my horseshit is beyond me. I give thanks every day that there is an Internet, because without it, I wouldn't have met her. On September 14th, 2002, we were married.

She now spends most of her online time over at our web forum, TalkAboutUSA.com.

3. SM

SM is the shorthand I use for BDSM, which is a catch-all acronym for:

"BD"
Bondage and Discipline or Bondage and Domination

"DS"
Domination and Submission

"SM"
SadoMasochism

That's a four way composite acronym, if you are counting. Covers a lot of ground. If you want to split hairs, SM can stand for "Sex magic", which covers sensation play and power exchange in sexuality. Again, that's a lot of ground.

It's about being kinky, but simply. Safe, sane and consenual stuff, for sure, but kinky goodness without a doubt.

A great overview of SM can be found in the BDSM Handbook at Sexuality.org.

I can't possibly gather up a better or broader selection of links than the BDSM topic

4. switch

In SM, a switch is a person who likes to both top and bottom.

Conny and I are both switches, which is a very convenient thing.

5. top

In SM, the person who is the one "doing," is the top, as opposed to the bottom, who is being "done to." It's a noun and a verb, too, as in "She was topping me" or "I had a great time bottoming to her."

The terms top and bottom are value-free, unlike the terms dominant and submissive. People often want to distinguish between bottoming and submitting. I'm not so fussy, but there is a subtle difference.