Mistakes were made

New York City meets Munich

The active ingredient is bullshit

March 21st, 2007 · No Comments · Reviews, Stupidity

In case there was any doubt that cosmetic companies just out-and-out lie about what their products do, there’s finally a product that leaves no doubt. Clarins, a British cosmetics manufacturer, has introduced Expertise 3P. What does this miracle product do?

  • Magnetic Defence Complex protects skin from the ageing effects of Artificial Electromagnetic Waves.
  • Clarins Anti-Pollution Complex of White Tea and Succory Dock-Cress protects skin from indoor and outdoor urban pollution.
  • Creates an imperceptible physical film on the skin to reinforce the skin’s own natural protective barrier.

Now technically speaking, any cosmetic that has an SPF rating can claim to “block electromagnetic waves“. What’s ironic is Expertise 3P has no SPF rating.

What’s utter bullshit about this is the claim it can somehow differentiate between natural and artificial electromagnetic radiation. Are they claiming that if I spray this stuff on a piece of glass, it will allow sunlight through, but not the light from an incandecent bulb? And truth be told, it’s not whether the source of radiation is “natural” or “artificial” that would be a health impact, but the wavelength. If you are standing next to natural emitter of gamma rays, you would still want to be protected from them, natural or not. Of course, then you’d need a thick sheet of iron and not a lotion.

This snake oil will set you back $40 on Amazon, in case you were wondering.

A blurb on the product site adds this little thought:

Remember Artificial Electromagnetic Waves are present 24 hours a day and affect men’s skin as well as women’s!

Too bad it’s those natural electromagnetic waves (i.e. sunlight) that are thousands of times more damaging to the skin than almost all artifical electromagnetic radiation, unless you get your jollies by having repeated x-rays taken or microwaving your extremeties. And if you do, I will bet you dollars to doughnuts that Expertise 3P won’t protect you one whit.

One thing that’s also as common as artificial electromagentic waves, and also more dangerous, is stupidity. Where’s my lotion to protect me from that?

No Comments so far ↓

Like gas stations in rural Texas after 10 pm, comments are closed.