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The Amazing Disgrace

December 16th, 2004 · No Comments · TV

Reality game show roundup, laden with spoilers:

Survivor ended in a satisfying way. I am always a little shocked how the losing players can’t seem to reconcile friendship with game play. No sensible person would turn to a friend playing poker and say “Hey man, how could you bluff? I thought we were friends.” Many games involve deceit and bluffing, and we play games with friends. Figure it out and get over it, Survivors.

Chris played a great game, was a nice guy, and he deserved to win. Glad it worked out that way.

Apprentice ended in a disgraceful and uncomfortable way. No one needs three hours of an Apprentice Finale show. Last year’s awkward finale demonstrated how Donald Trump has the charisma and charm of warm spit. If he isn’t reading from a prepared script, he’s painful to watch. So this year, Regis Philbin played the part of Donald’s trained monkey to work the audience, and Donald just kept telling everyone how “terrific” they are.

I thought Donald should have shown some spark and chosen Jennifer over Kelly, especially after her amazingly sharp live boardroom performance. Considering that she bounced back after watching a sickening love fest for Kelly (including praise from his former military commander), instead of caving, she defended herself rather gracefully and persuasively. Meanwhile, Kelly just ummed and hummed and said a bunch of empty sentiments. But he didn’t have to do much, since Donald wouldn’t want to pick a candidate that was any less wooden than he is. Either would have been fine choices, frankly.

May I suggest that next Apprentice Finale, no stupid music performances. This isn’t the Academy Awards, people.

And lastly, Amazing Race is getting into the swing of things, but it’s clear this year the casting was done with an eye towards seriously dysfunctional couples. The show was stressful enough for me last season, but this time it’s sometimes unwatchable. Jonathan and Victoria should be eliminated on principle, because it’s only a matter of time before he punches her. He’s already shoved her, and raised his arm in anger, and that’s the footage we’ve been allowed to see. While some people might enjoy watching this kind of Jerry Springer train wreck, that’s not appealing to me. To watch two people who are married and together for eight years behave the way they do is disturbing. The moment they are eliminated my enjoyment of the show will go up.

That’s not to say there aren’t some other great examples of bad relationships on the show, but compared to Jonathan and Victoria, everyone else is Ozzie and Harriet.

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