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Launch!

January 13th, 2004 · No Comments · Uncategorized

Our president is literally promising us the moon, or at least a moon base, and Mars. I suppose if I held the United States credit card in my hands and I wanted to complete my spending spree after conquering two nations, a planet or two would seem a natural extension.

I wouldn’t be so cynical as to say this is just George’s attempt to appear to have a “vision”, though one could think that if this wasn’t a cheap re-election manuever he could have committed to NASA in his first year as president. But our leader has too much integrity to engage in such cheap political grandstanding. It is obvious that we must go to Mars because that’s where Osama Bin Laden must be hiding, and he’s got Saddam’s weapons of mass destruction with him. We must act now before Mars attacks us.

The evidence is damning. There isn’t a single movie made where Martians weren’t out to get us, or our women. Except maybe Total Recall, but that movie sucked.

After a little interplanetary nation building, Haliburton will be more than happy to help us look for oil and mineral deposits, for a reasonable fee. We need to plan ahead, since the way George is treating the envirornment on this planet, we have to start looking for alternatives.

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