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Bird Brunch Buffet

January 5th, 2004 · No Comments · Uncategorized

While strolling to a very late New Year’s Day brunch with the lovely wife by my side, I witnessed one of those “only in New York City” scenes.

“Hey, look at that.” I said. “There’s a bunch of piegeons eating from someone’s vomit on the sidewalk.”

She turns her head to see the group of a dozen or so piegeons pecking away at the chunky remains of someone’s technicolor yawn from too much New Year’s Eve fun.

“That’s disgusting!” She elbows me. “Why did you have to point that out?”

“Hey, you chose to look. I fully disclosed what you were about to see. By turning your head, you gave consent to upgrade the mere nasty thought I put in your head with my utterance with the actual sight of it happening in reality. If I had just said ‘Hey, look over there,’ you might be able to claim you weren’t responsible, but you were warned.”

Truth is, I knew she wouldn’t believe me and would look just to see what I was really pointing out, and I was trying to save money on the upcoming brunch.

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