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Push the button

December 31st, 2002 · No Comments · Uncategorized

One of the fundamental challenges of married life is balance. How can I maximize purchases on my toys, and not piss away too much disposable income on her toys?

The key, my friends, is overlap. Buy her toys that you can have fun with too.

(It does help when you and your spouse enjoy the same toys to begin with, I’ll admit. If there’s no chance of overlap, you are basically screwed. But don’t worry, guys, you can buy your toys secretly and hide them. Be careful if she does the books, though.)

For ConnyWho is Conny? and I, nothing spells overlap like a radio controlled three speed vibrator. When I saw this gem, I saw “christmas gift” written all over it. It’s electronic, it’s remote controlled, it’s a vibrator. Fun for everyone.

Our initial testing reveals the device does indeed deliver the goods. With the exception of the top speed, it’s silent, and even the top speed is fairly quiet. The wearer is probably more likely to be heard than the gadget. The only design gaffe is the remote control has one button. You push the button, and the vibrator turns up a notch. If it’s already at the top speed, it turns off.

This turns remote sex play into an exercise akin to card counting. “Hmm, was it on ‘low’ or ‘medium’?” “Did it miss the last push?” It’s not too bad, since even I can manage to count to 3, and I learned quickly to push the button for a solid second or two, just to be sure the signal would be received. But still, it would be nice if it were a multichannel device with discrete controls.

I discovered that such a high tech gizmo does exist, made by some clever pervs in the UK. Button Toys seem to specialize in high tech sex toys for a reasonable price. The Buzzulator Electric Romeo Vibrator sounds ingenious. Too bad I didn’t find these guys before Christmas.

But then again, you can never have too many toys, right?

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