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Rubbers will destroy us all

November 15th, 2002 · No Comments · Uncategorized

The thing which impresses me most about conservative republicans is their uncanny ability to let ideology take precedence over science, or even common sense. If it weren’t for the disastrous consequences of this child-like wishful thinking, it would almost be cute.

Thanks to our brainiac President, the Center for Disease Control has now decided that condoms are not effective for preventing the transmission of AIDS.

“The only 100 percent effective way to avoid non-marital pregnancy and STD infection is to avoid sexual activity outside a mutually faithful, lifelong relationship – marriage,” says the Texas-based Medical Institute for Sexual Health. The group’s founder, Dr. Joe S. McIlhaney, Jr., now sits on the presidential AIDS panel.

So according to the White House, divorce causes AIDS.

I’m left wondering if this means the President is actually advocating gay marriage now. He couldn’t seriously be saying that gay people should just stop having sex, right?

All the efforts in the past years to educate people about safer sex and condom use, that can’t be the cause of diminished cases of AIDS in the United States since 1994, can it? No. Of course not. It must be that people are just having less sex. That must be the answer!

Since condoms aren’t 100% effective, we shouldn’t talk about them at all, according to W. and his crew of appointed prudes. Because talking about condoms as a way to make sex safer might encourage people to have unmarried sex, and then the Earth would spin off its axis and plunge into the sun, and Satan would dance a happy jig. Republicans want to prevent the fall of Western Civilization, and we all know that will be caused by something involving sex. You know, because sex is so dirty.

How delusional, repressed or dysfunctional does someone have to be to think that if you just tell people to not have sex, that they won’t? This must be a resentment thing. Conservatives must not be getting enough action in the sack so now they want to take it out on those people who can have sex. That has to be it, because really I cannot think how a rational, adult person could perceive any benefit of these policy actions.

Frankly, I’m embarrassed for Republicans. They should be ashamed for advocating a policy that can only increase the incidence of AIDS and other STDs.

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