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Pave the cushion

July 12th, 2002 · No Comments · Uncategorized

A few bucks on eBay and a week later, and I’m now the proud owner of Dance Dance Revolution Konamix and two giant techno-twister mat controllers to play. Now >Conny and I can bounce up and down in front of the television like complete retards, instead of just sitting in front of the television like complete retards.

I’ll fess up. It’s fun. Stupid, but fun. But most fun is stupid, isn’t it?

Part of the fun was the great Engrish that came with the dance mat controllers:

Hot Dance Instruction


Thanks for purchasing our product. This product is made for dancing and health-care. Please read this instruction carefully before using and please follow the steps properly and remember to take good care of this instruction.

  • Warning! Forbidden to use this product if your feet are seriously injured.
  • Make sure to pave to the cushion.
  • Young children must be guided to use it or need parents and teachers to accompany, in case to be tumbled by it.
  • High technology product, do not apart, separate or fix it anyway. Or the damage can not be guaranteed.
  • If this product can’t work well, please connect with your supplier directly.
  • Please put it on a flat floor, but not too smooth.
  • When using this product, pay attention to keep your feet safety.
  • Please do not jump strongly, that may bring troubles to the other person.

That last line is profound enough to be a fortune cookie. I’m a little annoyed they won’t guarantee the damage I can do my taking the mat apart, though.

I’m sure after a hundred or so hours bopping around to Disco Tetris, we’ll be ruined for life. The next time we go into a real dance club, we’ll dance like robots. But at least we will be robots with rhythm.

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