Mistakes were made

New York City meets Munich

Chop chop!

May 15th, 2002 · No Comments · Uncategorized

Thanks to Humbaba’s baby boy, I now feel violated.

Let me explain.

Humbaba mentioned that he got the little lad circumcised, which solicited a few comments from people. My own good girl linked to this site about circumcision on a recent post of hers. It shows how a circumcision is done. It’s not pretty.

From that page was a wealth of links about circumcision, something that I’ve probably spent about two hours of my entire life thinking about. And most of that time was spent when I came upon this page about circumcision stylesThis is a link with content meant for mature audiences from some Memepool link.

Yes, I am circumsized. And until I saw this site, I didn’t realize just how artificial my penis is. And most of the other penises I’ve ever seen for that matter. I’m also now keenly aware that I’m missing a significant part of my penis.

Guys, think about that. For most American men my age, when you were born, they cut off part of your penis.


The two bullshit reasons people assume are

  • Health reasons – but there’s rarely a medical reason for circumcision
  • Cleanliness – I think soap and water are slightly less radical than surgery.

Slightly more valid reasons could be

  • Religious reasons – Though it’s odd a practice that’s Jewish has been adopted by a primarily Christian country
  • Cosmetic reasons – You think clipped looks nice. You’ve heard of a nose job, this would be a dick job. Frankly, I think more penis is better than good looking penis.
  • Peer pressure – Everyone else is clipped, so better clip Junior too.

One reason circumcision became so popular in this country in the early 1900’s is because doctors noticed that it reduced all that awful and dangerous masturbation. Everyone knew then that masturbation caused madness, blindness, ill humours, the dropsy, crime and poverty too. If we could just end all this wanking, it would be a truly great country!

So because I was born in a country that has roots deep in sexual repression, I’ve had my genitals mutilated at birth. How can this kind of thing go on in a civilized, technically advanced country?

I think a good rule of thumb is: do not cut off perfectly good parts of working genitals.

I want my foreskin back, damn it! Can I sue someone? Other than my parents, of course. I can’t imagine the shit my mother would give me if I sued her.

Note: I am not giving Humbaba shit for getting his boy clipped. Prior to this whole discussion, I probably would have done what he did. I just never gave it much thought.

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