nosuch.org

Mistakes were made

New York City meets Munich

September 6th, 2001 · No Comments · Uncategorized

Bonus

One other benefit of being unwired is more sleep. Without the ever-tempting diversion of the ‘net beckoning to >Connyand me, we go to bed earlier. That means she gets up when I get up for work, which means she’s ready for bed when I am! No vicious cycle of sleep deprivation! Who knew technology could be so bad for health?

We sat on the couch, looking out the window at the Manhattan skyline at night, and found ourselves with some company: a blimp. Drifting in lazy circles over midtown was a tangerine blimp. It was one of those corporate blimps, with a logo on the side. Whoever designed it didn’t think about legibility, at least at night. It was impossible to determine what company owned this blimp. White text on pale orange is just not readable. I can’t imagine it would be much better in the daylight.

So this blimp, tirelessly promoting something, even at 10 o clock at night, was doing it for naught. Corporate dollars going down the toilet. But I suppose that what blimps are about: corporate excess.

I would love to be at the board meeting, where the CEO steps up in front of all assembled and says:

“What this company really needs, is a blimp.”

And the people there look at each other, and instead of thinking “This guy is nuts,” instead nod their heads and say “Excellent idea!”

At that point, the CEO realizes he can pretty much do whatever he wants. I call this “The Corporate Blimp Rationality Test.” If the company goes for the blimp idea, they either have collectively lost their minds, or have more money than they know what to do with, or both.

I suspect it’s a plot by the blimp pilots union. There’s got to be about a dozen professional blimp pilots in the country. It’s not like there’s a booming demand. Blimp pilots must sneak into corporate retreats, and seek out CEOs, and convince them how essential lighter-than-air aircraft are to the corporate image. Maybe drugs or hypnosis are involved. Blimp pilots must be worried that at some point, people are going to realize that blimps aren’t particularly useful. Sure, a blimp is cool, I’d love to have my own blimp. Even saying the word “blimp” is satisfying. I secretly yearn to have a “blimp pilot’s license” in my wallet as a conversation piece. But I can’t imagine there’s a good return on investment for a blimp, even under the best of circumstances.

I wonder if my building would allow me to land a blimp on the roof…

No Comments so far ↓

Like gas stations in rural Texas after 10 pm, comments are closed.