Mistakes were made

New York City meets Munich

May 25th, 2001 · No Comments · Uncategorized

New and improved!

Here I am, sitting at my desk, enjoying my late afternoon snack. Today, the snack happens to be a bag of Doritos. Since my job consists of typing on a computer it is unwise to snack and work, lest I get get scads of Dorito dandruff all over the keyboard. That leaves me with a moment to pause and savor the full snacking experience.

As I munch, I read on my “Big Grab” sized bag of Doritos that I have the good fortune to be enjoying the “Nacho Cheesier” flavor. “NOW MORE NACHO CHEESE!” the bag proudly proclaims. Lucky me! To think all those years of my youth I was eating inferior Doritos. Thank goodness for progress.

This gets me thinking, though. I turn the bag over to read the ingredients. Surprisingly, there is no “nacho cheese” at all! There’s romano cheese, cheddar cheese, parmesan cheese, but conspiciously no nacho cheese.

This strikes me as fraudulent. How can they say there’s more nacho cheese when actually there’s no nacho cheese? Aren’t there laws against making these types of false claims? It’s a dangerous precedent, if you ask me. Next we will be seeing cars advertised as having “More Nacho Cheese!” I mean, why not? A car has just as much nacho cheese in it as a Dorito, and if they can say it for the chips, why not anything?

Here at Nosuch, I am pleased to say that I’ve taken some action on this shocking discovery. As a result, I can finally announce that now has more nacho cheese than ever. Enjoy.

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