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February 21st, 2001 · No Comments · Uncategorized

Good at Spanking, Bad at Presenting

I went to a T.E.S. meeting last night. The topic was “SM View definition in a new window without Pain” and the session description was pretty ambitious. Too ambitious, it turned out. In essence the presentation was done by three people, with three slightly differeing agendas. Since none of them really led the presentation, they got bogged down and sidetracked. Soon a few members of the audience, some particularly nutty ones unfortunately, were driving. One bondage demonstration was done with little meaningful explanation. Another demonstration, using a gag, only made the young lady executing it look inept and made the dynamic between her and her partner look strained. Then two presenters gave different answers regarding health and safety. The session began to run long, and people just began to leave.

Two of the people presenting last night both could have done a good job individually. One was quite effective in communicating, and had a lot of good experience. But the structure of the session was bad. It didn’t work, and they let it get away from them. Many times I was cringing listening to the young woman trying to explain things because she just wasn’t very articulate.

None of the people involved are stupid. They all had a lot of knowledge and experience. They clearly have enthusiasm. But, they could make the presentation work. People in the SM scene suffer from “geek syndrome.” You see it in technology as well. People who are bright and immersed in some subculture are often weak in social and communication skills. (In fairness, last night two of the presenters actually seemed to be pretty good on both counts, just not together.)

I’ll see what it’s like from other side soon enough, although my role will be very, very minor. Nori comes back to the city to do a weekend seminar series on SM, and I’ll be assisting her as needed. This might mean being used to demonstrate certain techniques in front of an audience, though usually there are people happy to volunteer. Nori will also be doing one session for T.E.S. for free next week, but the topic is voice and words in sex and SM, so I think I’ll be safe there. The basic spanking and whipping class might be a bit more involved…

I haven’t really talked much about Nori and SM before for a few reasons, mostly in respect to her privacy, and how it could impact her in Clan Lord. Her concerns in this matter are pretty much gone now, and seeing how she truly lives and breathes an SM lifestyle, she told me to disclose whatever I want. Nori was very important to me in fully owning and intergrating my sexuality into who I am. Nori is a professional dominant, and she totally turned my life around. If it wasn’t for Nori’s guidance, I’d never would have started this blog, changed my life or had the amazing experience of the love I have for Conny View definition in a new window. She’s been a powerful force in my life, and a great friend. For those people who have been reading these pages for a while, a little bonus: the times I’ve written about great things happening that I can’t write about… Well, now you know who it involved, and what.

And, I’ll say this, since I’ve been to one of her classes before: Nori is a great presenter. Being around her the next few days will give me so much fuel for things to do with Conny, that I’ve promised myself I’d write down the ideas I have so I don’t forget them. I’m a little worried about what will happen when I get Conny and Nori in the same room. Conny has been absorbing and learning things ravenously, and she’s turning into quite the wicked top. With Nori’s help, Conny will undoubtedly become dangerously proficent at making me crumble. Like so many things in SM, I’m both delighted by this prospect, and scared shitless…

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